can u get pink eye on your cock?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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