i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
