Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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