I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I love you.
Bad choice
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
