she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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