Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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