billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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