Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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