I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
