He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
