either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
