That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
