Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
