Pants 0. Shit 1.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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