I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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