What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
