:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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