Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
