I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
