note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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