loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
do nipples grow back?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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