Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
