Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
