it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
