If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
