we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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