I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
