every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
