it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
