Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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