Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
