lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
