I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you traded sex for a burrito?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
