Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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