tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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