Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
