He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
