I'm going to jail i love you
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
