she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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