wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
