And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
