its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
