I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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