Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
