we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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