I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
