So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
