I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
