I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
