i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
