butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
