Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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